Trump Grabs a Jab Out of Alcatraz with Gator Run-in

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Sources say the former president was spotted on a boat near the infamous island prison, where he allegedly attempted throw somebits to a massive reptile. Witnesses say that Trump maybe got a little too close with the animal, resulting in some nervouslaughing. The {entiresituation was captured on video, and the footage have quickly gone viral online.

Breaking News: The Donald and the Danger Lizards!

A shocking development is unfolding at Mar-a-Lago as we speak/right now/at this very moment. Sources report that former President President Trump has confronted a pack of highly venomous lizards, said to be mutated by radiation/the result of government experiments/escaped from Area 51.

Eyewitnesses claim to have seen the former leader grappling with the creatures, wielding a vibrating toothbrush. The situation is still developing/unfolding/sketchy, and we await official statements from Mr. Trump's staff.

Stay tuned for more updates on this utterly bonkers event!

The Donald's Wild Tour of Alcatraz

Get ready for a wild ride, folks! Tweeter-in-Chief is hitting the rock/island/prison like never before in a tour/experience/adventure they're calling the Gator Gauntlet. Sources say he's planning on showing off/lecturing about/taking control of the island, wearing a MAGA hat the whole time. He's even rumored to be order a giant cheeseburger from McDonald's during his visit. This ain't your grandma's tour of Alcatraz, folks. Brace yourselves!

Crocodile Corrections? Absolutely, Claims President Trump

Folks, lemme tell ya somethin'. That mess down in Florida is gettin' worse. They got these crocodiles runnin' free. And what do they do? Nothing! They just let 'em wander around. But not me, I wouldn't stand for that. We gotta get tough of these beasts. That's why I say we gotta build a special prison - Alcatraz for these pesky beasts, folks! That's what makes America great, takin' dealin' with the tough stuff.

Trump's Wild Ride: Presidential GATOR Safari!

This ain't your typical fundraiser, folks. The Boss Man himself is hitting the swamps on a wild expedition. That's right, we're talking about Trumpbattling beastly reptiles. Sources say he's packing his that ridiculous red "Make America Great Again" beanie and ready to unleash some swamp-justice. Will he make a deal with the biggest gator in the swamp? Only time will tell!

Can You Believe This?! Trump Goes Cage Diving With Gators

Folks, you are not gonna want to hear about this! The Donald himself, ex Prez Trump, has decided to take a wild journey. He's swapping his golf clubs for some serious grit and is jumping into a pen website full of hungry alligators! Word on the street that this whole thing was an attempt to boost his image.

What could ever go wrong?? Only time will show.

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